'... because nothing says "Christmas" like millions of Christians pitching infantile fits' / PsiCop original graphicYes indeed, folks, this may well be a busy year in the annual “war on Christmas,” seen as how we’re only a week into November and already another battle has erupted in the Religious Right’s perpetual campaign to force every American to worship Christmas however they demand. Their latest target is the ubiquitous Starbucks coffee chain. As Time magazine explains, American Christendom has gone into a meltdown over — get this! — their holiday-season cups (WebCite cached article):

Some Christians have taken to social media channels to protest the new Starbucks holiday cup, which they say is conspicuously devoid of images of both Christmas and Jesus Christ himself. The new cup, which is shades of red with the Starbucks logo, showed up in stores late last month.

“Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS from their cups because they hate Jesus,” wrote Joshua Feuerstein in a viral Facebook post with nearly 10 million views [cached]. In an accompanying video, Feuerstein encourages customers to give their name as “Merry Christmas” to force Starbucks employees to say the phrase. The movement had caught on by Sunday with the hashtag “MerryChristmasStarbucks” trending on Facebook.

Here’s the plain red cup that’s got so many Christians’ knickers in knots:Starbucks christmas cups for 2015, via JezebelI find this a strange objection, because in prior years, Starbucks had never included any religious symbols on their holiday cups:

Past Starbucks holiday cups (in an animated GIF courtesy of GIFMaker.me)

Past Starbucks holiday cups (in an animated GIF courtesy of GIFMaker.me)

The name “Jesus” has never once appeared on a Starbucks cup, as far as I’ve been able to find. Nor have crosses, or Madonnas, or anything else of the sort. So I’m surprised that, this year, a minimal red design would kick up religionistic sanctimony, when previously a lack of any overt expression of Christianity on Starbucks holiday cups had never mattered before. And I don’t get how plain red cups can rationally be called an expression of hatred for Jesus. I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

If you’re curious as to why Starbucks did this, Time explains:

Starbucks has offered special holiday cups since 1997 with designs varying from year to year. Jeffrey Fields, the company’s vice president of design and content, explained this year’s design as a “more open way to usher in the holidays.”

“Starbucks has become a place of sanctuary during the holidays,” he said in a press release. “We’re embracing the simplicity and the quietness of it.”

The Christianist outrage aside, let’s step back from the edge and take a serious look at this. Why would Starbucks — which normally sells hot beverages in white cups — use red cups near the end of the year? Obviously, it’s an homage to Christmas, since the color red is symbolic of that holiday. So what if there are no other symbols or messages on the cups? Just the fact that the cups are red is a loud and clear acknowledgement by Starbucks that Christmas — not some other holiday or occasion — is on its way.

I’m just not getting these Christianists’ objections. I think the simple red-only design is striking and attractive. Maybe that’s because I’m a cold-hearted, cynical, godless agnostic heathen and such important sacred considerations are beyond me. Yeah yeah, that’s it!

Photo credit: Top/first and middle/third by PsiCop; middle/second by Jezebel.

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  • John

    You still don't get it…….Starbucks is even taking off the secular symbols of Christmas off of their cups, let alone not having any cup designs that say, (God forbid!) Merry Christmas!……does the phrase "Merry Christmas" corrupt your close minded agnostic little ears?……well, time to put on your big-boy pants on and wake up and join the Christmas party, or shut up and stop trying to shove your little religion down the throats of the rest of us….and do not forget to have fun and have a Merry Christmas!

    • Re: “You still don’t get it…….Starbucks is even taking off the secular symbols of Christmas off of their cups, let alone not having any cup designs that say, (God forbid!) Merry Christmas!”

      Oh, I get it, all right. What you and your ilk don’t get that their cups never once said “Merry Christmas,” nor have they ever mentioned Jesus. It never has happened. Ever. Not once in the chain’s entire history.

      Re: “does the phrase “Merry Christmas” corrupt your close minded agnostic little ears?”

      No, of course not. Why would you think it does? And even if it were so, what would that have to do with people lying about Starbucks?

      Re: “well, time to put on your big-boy pants on and wake up and join the Christmas party, or shut up and stop trying to shove your little religion down the throats of the rest of us”

      I have two responses to this: First, if you object to me “shoving my religion down everyone’s throats” and expect me never to do so, then you and your ilk cease to have any right to shove your own down mine. Second, I don’t even have a religion in the first place, so there’s literally nothing for me to “shove down everyone’s throats.”

      Re: “and do not forget to have fun and have a Merry Christmas!”

      How mature of you to wish me a merry holiday you know I don’t observe! I’m sure you thought this kind of juvenile snark would be funny or something. So fine, you’ve had your fun, now grow the hell up.