Earlier I blogged on some nonsense about Noah’s Ark that was broadcast on Discovery Channel. This time I’m commenting on the History Channel (which likes to go by the name of just “History” now, sans the “channel,” for some reason). At one time, the History Channel might better have been called “the World War II Channel,” since they spent so much time on World War II. Then for a while they went berserk over the Civil War and made almost every show about that. Both of these trends were tolerable for a while, but they wore thin and became aggravating.

In an effort to branch out even further, though, instead of delving into other areas of history, over the last few years they’ve been digging deeply into gobbbledygook and assorted flavors of woo. This ranges from annoying wingnut-driven conspiracy-theory crap about Lincoln’s body, to fact-deprived wild-eyed weirdness about UFO hunters.

Tonight I saw something truly nutty, however, which simply goes too far. It was a show called Bible Code II: Apocalypse and Beyond, and it definitely goes “beyond” reality.

The show examines both Nostradamus and the Bible codes. It offers a putatively accurate, verifiable prediction made by Nostradamus that terrorists would attack New York City, citing a quote from a quatrain that mentioned “the king of terror” striking from the sky. But this is horsehockey, because the quatrain (X.72) actually said:

The year 1999, seventh month,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror

As you can see, Nostradamus was off by two years — and that’s assuming Nostradamus saw two airplanes flying into towers in New York City, one flying into the Pentagon, and one being taken down in a field in Pennsylvania — not a peep of which is to be found there.

Then, on the show, a couple of guys wearing yarmulkes (I guess this implies they were rabbis, but I didn’t see their credentials, so I don’t know) were bragging about how Nostradamus was all washed up but the Bible codes were “scientifically proven.”

I do agree with them, that Nostradamus is bullshit. No doubt there. But what’s hilarious is these Bible-coders actually claiming that some other bullshit is really bullshit, while their own bullshit is scientific and provable. Imagine, a show about duelling claims of woo and bullshit!

Make no mistake, the nonsense about Bible codes is — just like Nostradamus — complete, 100% pure grade-A prime bullshit. There is nothing “scientific” about Bible codes, either — even though most of the Bible-coders use computers to analyze the Bible texts and cook up their codes. That they use computers to weave their bullshit does not make their bullshit “scientific.”

Lastly, I not that there is not one speck of actual “historical” content from either Nostradamus or Bible codes, in this show on the History Channel. Not so much as a whiff of a hint of it. It’s all fantasy, not “history,” woven by cranks and pseudohistorians.

I look forward to the day when I can turn on the History Channel, and actually view some attestable, objectively researched “history” — which is not about World War II or the Civil War, both of which they’ve already done to death.

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