'Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.' / Friedrich Schiller / PsiCop original graphicUpdate: It’s now the morning of December 22 where I live, the day after I wrote this post, and clearly the Maya Apocalypse never occurred. I’m waiting to hear the apologies of those who were proclaiming a devastating doom for our planet … but my guess is, there won’t be any. Cranks and frauds never admit error … ever. I’ve changed the title of this post accordingly.

As I type this, it’s December 21, 2012, around noon where I am (Eastern Standard Time). I don’t see any sign of an apocalypse. Granted, the day isn’t over yet, but it’s about 6:00 am on December 22, 2012 in New Zealand, meaning that part of the planet has already moved on to the day after doomsday with nothing to show for it.

NBC News’ Cosmic Log has an entry about the apocalypse that isn’t materializing (WebCite cached article):

After years of claptrap about the Maya apocalypse on 12/21/12, the Big Day has dawned in many parts of the world. It’s daytime in China, one of the world’s hot spots for doomsday angst. So far, no solar flares have fried the earth, and no mountains have fallen into the sea. The sun will soon rise on Mexico’s ancient Maya monuments, where thousands are gathering to greet a new era.

Then what?

“I don’t think there’s going to be a herd of jaguars descending from the heavens,” said John Henderson, an anthropologist at Cornell University who specializes in the Maya world.

Archaeologists and astronomers have thoroughly debunked everything about the doomsday myth: The Maya never expected that the world would end when their Long Count calendar rolled over to the next 144,000-day cycle in 2012. Earth’s magnetic field is not going haywire. There’s no threat from the Large Hadron Collider, or the sun, or unseen planets, or the galactic plane.

That doesn’t mean promoters of, or believers in, the Maya Doomsday 2012 aren’t creatively reinterpreting their previous predictions of destruction and annihilation in the wake of the giant fizzle:

Not everything about the Big Day is doom and gloom: Tourists and New Age types have flocked to the Maya ruins of Chichen Itza to greet Friday’s dawn and the start of a new age with rituals old and new. “There is an explosion of consciousness through this,” a gray-haired Californian musician named Shambala Songstar told Reuters. “We are becoming billionaires of energy. Opening to receive more light and more joy.”

So, it seems a putative “prophecy” that a rogue planet would smash the earth to pieces … or a magnetic pole-shift would wipe out all life on the planet … or that a “galactic alignment” would cause the world to go magically insane … never came true, however, it’s still valid, because humanity has now become “billionaires of energy.”

Uh, right … whatever you say … I guess … somehow, some way, somewhere.

I suppose it would be asking too much of this assortment of nutballs, lunatics, cranks, frauds, wingnuts, ignoramuses, and con artists to apologize for having lied to people about this so-called “Armageddon.” My guess is, they will all do what so many other failed prophets have done in the past, which is to creatively re-engineer their failed predictions so as to make it appear they hadn’t failed, after all.

But in the end, their irrational games, twisted reasoning, and mangled semantics can’t change the fact that the whole “Maya prophecy” is 100% pure grade-A bullshit. A colossal steaming load heaved straight out of the back of the barn.

Photo credit: PsiCop original, quoting Friedrich Schiller.

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3 Responses to “The Maya Apocalypse 2012 That Never Happened”
  1. Damn! I didn't get to see even one zombie either, unless you count that drunk guy I saw at the grocery store around 2PM.

    Times like this make me wonder what those whack jobs who really believed in this shit feel like about now. Do they actually feel STUPID? Or are they too stupid to realize how stupid they are? It's an enigma wrapped in a conundrum deep fried in lard.

    Happy 22nd of December, 2012!

    • PsiCop says:

      They probably don't feel stupid. They will somehow rationalize the failure of the so-called "Mayan prophecy" and continue to believe that something happened yesterday, even though quite obviously nothing did.

  2. The good news is that these folks continue to provide us with wonderful opportunities for laughter. 🙂