Rick Fenbers / CreepyCincinnati.Com, via WCPO-TVAs I’ve said so many times, the ubiquity of “ghost hunting” shows on television has caused the numbers of “paranormal investigators” in the US to proliferate ridiculously. Anyone can now grab a light meter or EMF detector and pretend to be able to locate ghosts, demons, specters, goblins, poltergeists, devils, orbs, wraiths, etc. Really, it’s anybody’s game now, since there are no specific methods, no rules, no certification, no specifics, no credentials … just tromp around like an idiot waving your device around and yammer about “entities” and “auras” and all of that assorted parapsychological gibberish.

Most of the time this is harmless stuff. Sure, you have the occasional bonehead standing on a railroad track waiting for a “ghost train” to come along only to be killed by a real one, or the occasional ghost-hunter who trespasses and gets arrested (WebCite cached article) … but for the most part the only cost is the amount of time paranormal investigators waste on their fluff and nonsense.

That said, the good people of the Cincinnati suburb of Blue Ash, OH are dealing with folks who think there’s a “portal to hell” there. As WCPO-TV reports, a neighborhood is disrupted and police have been getting lots of calls (cached):

There’s a portal to hell in Blue Ash.

That is, if you listen to paranormal investigators, teenagers and folks who like to get spooked.

“It’s one of the best known, but least seen, urban legends around here,” CreepyCincinnati.com blogger Rick Fenbers said. “A group of Satanists supposedly used to meet there in some type of altar room and conduct their rituals… They must have been pretty good, because the legend claims they managed to open a doorway to hell.”

But what Fenbers and others call “Satan’s Hollow,” neighbors and cops call a nightmare.…

“It’s rough on the homeowners,” Blue Ash Police Lt. Steve Schueler said. “People park in their driveway and try to get into the drainage system and nobody likes that. (The owner) has had to chase off some people, for sure.”

Now, if I were the superstitious type and truly thought this was an actual “portal to hell,” I definitely wouldn’t be going anywhere near it. So I’m not sure why “true believers” would want to venture there. Then again, their way of thinking is alien to me, so how could I hope to comprehend it?

The bottom line is that people need to fucking grow the hell up, put away the Mel meters and EVP recorders and all of that assorted trash, and get on with their little lives already. Don’t disrupt the lives of others just because you think you can venture into hell via a storm sewer just outside Cincinnati. Enough is enough, fercryinoutloud!

Photo credit: Rick Fenbers / CreepyCincinnati.Com, via WCPO-TV.

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